The chief problem that I come across time and again with people faced with code red behaviour is that we don’t do what we’re supposed to – opt out.
Instead, we analyse the crapola out of it, blame ourselves, minimize the extent of the problem, assume we know better (we don’t), or decide that us and our love make us the exception to the rule.
If they’re into shady stuff in the bedroom, it’s at the very least a code amber, or depending on the nature of it, a code red.
Don’t try and revolutionise the wheel and if you don’t want to have threeways, being watched by your neighbours, beaten etc – opt out.
Anybody trying to pursue you while with someone else is shady.