These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them.
You should want to date a person because you like who they are and have compatible views and interests, not because their race is the next thing to do on your bucket list or because you were enthralled by their “exotic ways” (honestly, are you doing an anthropological study on black culture? If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!
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While it may be hard for two people from widely different intersections of race and gender to understand each other, it’s not impossible once the more privileged party (in this case, the white guy) is able to recognize their shortcomings and how the intersections of race and gender affect every aspect of a black woman’s life.
A white man must be willing to work toward a better understanding of how race and gender intersect differently for everyone, and he must also be prepared to speak out against the injustices that their partners will endure.
My friend likes black girls, but he doesn’t like them too dark!
” Against my better judgment, I assumed that the wingman just wasn’t very good at his job and started talking to his friend anyway.
So, in order to avoid some head and heartaches down the road for both parties, I’d like to offer white men some suggestions on how to best approach us.